I had a pretty bad week...and this week turns out to be worst..I'm getting weak every single day. Running?? haven't done that for 2 weeks.. My weight have gone down another 2kg..so tats a total of 10kg. (am i gonna die of too much weight loss??). Once again the specialist gave me the bad news. Is this wat it means like to be alive?? having everything now and then they juz go away?? I got everything i wanted. My runs, my bike, my music, my frens, my family and my results.. wats wrong wif me??
Wats lacking in me?? I dunno..maybe confidence.. maybe trust.. All the things tat u say seems rational and reasonable when can u do it?? can u show me tat u mean it?? Huuh! one moment u said tat u do understand and care and another moment, ur juz practising or shud i say re-living ur ignorant and self-centered life!! SHIT!! I hate this feeling!! FUCK OFF!! DAMN U..DAMN THEM!! I HATE IT!! i'm like a hanging thread wif one string left and its badly battered and near its pull-off..juz waiting to drop..and sumhow it holds on cos' he see sumthing tat he badly want.. Down below is a pool..of which he does not where it ends up to..risking everything to drop in it will cause him to be severly depress and DAMN EMOTIONAL!! its his call..but, Hey! its not ur fault..he made the wrong decision at first..and he got caught up in the act..and reali fell for it.. wat a guy...
I feel like riding around today but sumhow..all my frens are busy..some wif skul, some wif project..some wif their bf/gf..and some working.. wats life to me now?? Only god knws...
Monday, September 15, 2008

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